About
I used to be bulimic as an escape from my frustrations. I didn’t feel heard or understood; I wanted to please my mother but couldn’t make her happy; I felt I had no control; my expressions were dismissed; and I felt fat, ugly, unloved, and guilty for it all, like I was wrong for being who I was and feeling like I did.
Food was my escape and comfort. It was the one thing I could control… until it controlled me. And that was my story for four years.
In hindsight, the shift of the tides happened when I married my husband. I had the desire to change, and he validated me and gave me the support I needed.
I attended an outpatient program for eating disorders. I learned how to eat healthy again and deal with my emotions. We checked in with each other in the group sessions and paid attention to what was on our hearts.
What I discovered was that I was really hungry to be heard and understood, to be loved and accepted, and to be worthy of that love.
Having the safety to speak my mind and knowing I will be heard and understood was the reason my case was a success. The key factors were connection, emotional support, and validation, and that is what I wish to give you.
Meet Diana
I was born into an Army family that didn’t talk very much. It was very likely a disconnect and lack of understanding of emotional needs. This culminated in my adulthood in my food addiction. As the baby of the family, I started early on people-pleasing. I wanted to make my mother happy because she seemed very unhappy.
My sister, as a teenager, would argue with my parents and that caused a lot of tension. From her, I learned that I was not going to do that because it didn’t go very well. After high school I decided that I was an adult and could say how I felt. That didn’t work like I thought and only led to frustration. I started using food to stuff that frustration. That habit turned into a food addiction of binging and purging. That behavior came with many emotions, guilt, shame, ugliness, lack of confidence, obsession, lack of energy and focus, depression, frustration, out of control, to name a few.
I never had a weight problem growing up nor any issues with food but now I couldn’t control myself. Fortunately, when I got married to my wonderful husband, I confessed my addiction to him and I received the help I needed. I learned how to eat healthy again, how to express myself by communicating and how to handle the various emotions we experience on a daily basis.
Thankfully, my body recovered and naturally went back to its normal size. Since then, I have been the same size, and experienced 3 pregnancies, and that was 35 years ago.